Ghostwriting Archives - Katz Creative

Who’s Got a Grandfather for Me?

his CelebrEighty Column is written by Judy Katz… ‘m not ashamed to tell you that I have been married three times. Everyone’s journey is different, and I give my all each time. In my first marriage, my husband was eight years older, the second was 14 years older, and my last husband was 16 years older. Now I’m 82. I’m good with dialing it back a little for my next and final husband. How about a nine or 10-year difference?

Before you snicker at my possible interest in dating—and perhaps marrying—your father, grandfather, or great-grandfather, hear me out. Movie star Clint Eastwood is 91, and he still looks damn good. Even better, look at William Shatner, also 91. Another stunning fellow, James Earl Jones, is 92. I could list another dozen of these fascinating nonagenarians. Some of these icons are married. Some are divorced (Shatner) or are widowers like James Earl Jones. My one true (secret) love, the incredible Harry Belafonte, is 95, and happily married to his beloved Pamela. Read more

ETA? What They Don’t Tell You About is Your ETD

This article is part of the CelebrEighty series by Judy Katz…At 82, perhaps I can be excused for thinking about death. More specifically—my end. Look, I’m having far too much fun in my later years to want to end my human experience Death, as Hamlet described it in Act 3, Scene 1, Soliloquy, is “the undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveler returns.” I’m in no rush to get to that undiscovered country, though I do have some countries on my Bucket List that I’d still love to discover.

I’m not thinking about death because of depression. However, I remain deeply saddened by the recent untimely loss of a close family member—Susan Richman, my brother Steve’s fantastic wife, who was as close to me as a sister. Others I have known for decades are dropping like flies at this stage. Others are taking a veritable pharmacy of pills to stave off their demise. I’m one of the few people I know in their 70s to 90s who only take some vitamins. Read more

What These Three Kinds of Dog Owners Tell Us About Humanity

This article is part of the CelebrEighty series by Judy Katz…Walking around my new Upper West Side neighborhood with Bindy and Lia, my two eight-year-old Chihuahuas, I am struck by the sheer amount of “unaddressed” poop. Part of the privilege of sharing life with a canine is cleaning up after your dog. Yet many people—and conceivably many dog walkers—apparently feel no obligation and leave anything from huge mounds produced by larger dogs to “tootsie rolls” from the smaller breeds lying in plain sight on sidewalks and grassy areas throughout the city.

Seeing these “left-behinds” on almost every street and in every park—this neighborhood is no exception, as it’s everywhere in the city—I was struck by a realization that there are three types of dog owners—and perhaps, in the same vein, three types of people in general. They are 1) People who do not clean up after their dogs, 2) Those who do clean up after their dogs. And, lastly, 3) People who clean up after their dog or dogs, and sometimes also clean up after other people’s dogs. Read more

Disoriented: Waking Up in a Strange New Apartment

This article is part of the CelebrEighty series by Judy Katz…The move I just made was only seven short blocks away, but forty (yes forty!) years is a long time to live in my old place. I knew my way around every corner of that 2,000 square foot, three bedroom, three bath, terraced apartment. Now others are enjoying its graceful expanse, and I am in an 800 square foot two bedroom, two bath.

In all honesty, it was time to cash out of my co-op. After an exhaustive search, the rental complex I found had killer amenities. There’s an outdoor garden with barbeques, a clubhouse with a huge conference room and kitchen for meetings, and a lounge with a giant TV. There’s a game room, a large pool with a lifeguard, and a fabulous health club with every imaginable exercise machine. Read more

Some Considerations If You’re Dating Online in Act Three

Image licensed iStock; Getty Images

This article is part of the CelebrEighty series by Judy Katz…Sometimes when we say something happened to a “friend,” we mean ourselves. In this blog, when I say friend, I mean a friend, and I will fess up when it is my experience.

Online dating is difficult and frustrating for everyone, woman or man, and at every age. It’s not the same as being matched up by a trusted friend. But the days of friends, relatives, and work colleagues setting you up with someone have dwindled to a precious few. Most of us no longer meet a future partner at church, temple, or special events in someone’s house or while at a business cocktail party or meeting. What does that leave? Match.com and all the other online dating sites.

I’m no expert, so I cannot offer you a critique of one online dating site versus another. I will tell you that if you want to meet someone online, you had better prepare for the fact that you’re going to be looking for a needle in a haystack. You’re great—we all know you’re great, so why would there not be a great person searching for YOU? The catch is—you—woman or man—may have to go through many frogs to find your prince or princess. Read more

I was making Changes to My Bucket List. Please Don’t Judge Me.

This article is part of the CelebrEighty series by Judy Katz… On August 29, 2020, I celebrated my 80^thbirthday at Dairy Queen. My daughter Heather made the day special by satisfying one of the items on my Bucket List: a first-time-ever visit to try one of their Blizzards. Thankfully, it didn’t disappoint. I’ve written about this event before—in Blog Two, “CelebrEighty at Dairy Queen.” At the time, I called my Bucket List “pathetic.” I want to walk back that judgment I made on myself. I apologize not just to myself but also to you, dear reader. No wish is pathetic.

At 81 years of age I still have a lot of wishes on my Bucket List. I hope you don’t judge me as a superficial person if I tell you I want to someday, somehow, finally learn how to apply false eyelashes properly so they don’t get unstuck at one end. I wind up looking “unglued,” like a tragically unaware Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard. I look much better in false eyelashes and would love to do the job right. If millions of women of all ages can do it, why can’t I? Speaking of developing that skill, by learning those tricks and gluing them on, is that what a “hack” means?

Ambivalence in Loving a Feisty Feline, and Her Human Equivalents

This article is part of the CelebrEighty series by Judy Katz…Some people are born with a difficult temperament. Often their angry disposition is the result of a difficult upbringing, and a nurturing environment can soften even the feistiest human at their edges. Then why has this not happened with Raina, my rescue cat?

Raina can’t sit on a therapist’s couch and tell us what happened to her before I discovered her in that tiny cage at PetSmart. She can’t relate to us what happened to her when she was wandering the streets. Would that she could, so I could know why she’s not a sit on your lap and purr kind of cat. She has never purred, not once. Instead, she tries to bite your fingers off if you pet her. Read more

I Am Thinking of Moving. How Valuable is Unsolicited Advice?

This article is part of the CelebrEighty series by Judy Katz…I am thinking of leaving New York. Blasphemy, I know. I’m about as “New York” as it gets. When I confided in close friends that I was selling my Upper West Side co-op apartment in which I have been living since 1983 and potentially moving to Arlington, Texas, I was hit with a wave of advice and suggestions. Reactions ranged from: “Are you crazy” and “You will miss the city so badly you will come screaming back” to others who said, “Bravo for your courage and willingness to start this new chapter in your life.” How valuable is the unsolicited advice I have been getting?

Unsolicited advice is free, and someone once said: “You get what you pay for.” I know people’s opinions about what my next big move should or could be from the heart. They wanted me closer, but they also wanted to see me feeling fulfilled and happy. As Manhattanites, most of them could not imagine me in an apartment in Texas—even with family nearby. Read more

Chosen Motherhood Becomes Gift of a Lifetime

This article is part of the CelebrEighty series by Judy Katz… When marriages fall apart, they often leave behind shattered relationships. This is especially true if children from a former marriage are in play. The loving bond that may have grown between the step-parent and the spouse’s children is usually severed. Sometimes the bond holds—but sadly, that is rare. There can be many reasons: a continued animosity between the former partners, distance, or the step-parent forming other romantic and familial relationships. The step-child with whom they were once close becomes a memory rather than an active part of their life.

I am thankful that is not the case with my “chosen son,” Daryl. Daryl’s father, Ed, was a young widower when we met. His wife Jan died of brain aneurysm at age 32. She left him with three young boys: Robert, brilliant student, who became a sought-after science writer, then age 13; and Brian, then 8, handsome and outgoing, who became a highly successful orthodontist. And then the baby of the family, little Daryl, just 4, who took my heart the moment I met him in a midtown diner, where he peered at me from behind the hamburger that looked gigantic in his tiny hands. That night, he was so shy—all button nose, freckles, and questioning blue eyes. His mother had died three days before his third birthday; he was too young to remember her well. Read more

How I Became an ‘Emotional Support Human’ for Three Furry Critters

This story is part of the CelebrEighty Series written by Judy Katz… An impressive 65% of American households currently have a pet—primarily dogs—but also cats, birds, and other creatures. There are significant psychological and physical benefits to sharing your life with a four-legged creature. “Animals can help reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and increase social interaction and physical activity,” according to Barbara Ballinger, in an article on the topic in www.agingcare.com I am here to give you another perspective from my experience: the benefits we get as a pet’s “emotional support human”—especially as older adults adopting older animals.

In my Upper West Side neighborhood, you see signs that say “No Pets Allowed. Service Animals Welcomed.” on the front doors of restaurants, supermarkets, or in the windows of retail shops. Service animals, eh? Walking inside, one would expect to run into (not literally, of course) seeing-eye dogs guiding their visually-challenged person. But no. While you might sometimes see such a pair, it is rare. In those stores that ban pets, what you run into around every corner (and in restaurants under every other table or on every other lap) is a fuzzy Pomeranian or Mini-Poodle or Bernadoodle with their “emotionally challenged” human. Read more